Breaking Through the Barrier of Fear

Posted: November 16, 2015 in Uncategorized

I’ve been giving this article a thought or two for some time and didn’t know exactly how I wanted to approach it.  The truth of the matter is simple:  I am so far from breaking through any type of fear barrier.  I know that it needs to be done.  I have a good idea of how it should be done.  I also have a huge list of why it should be done.  But I’ve really only stepped into the realm of thinking about how to break through.

It’s understandable to have fear as there are many ways to suffer when one begins to consider change.  Below you will find a few scenarios I consider when I think about the things I’m going to do.  As a bonus, you’ll get some insight into some of my future goals!

Rebuilding My Car

  • What if I’m biting off more than I can chew and I buy a whole bunch of stuff I’m unable to assemble correctly?
  • Isn’t there something more reasonable to put my money towards?
  • Buying a new car would have the built in reliability of a warranty, a few years of assurance I won’t have any drastic payments to make.
  • What if my wife resents me for spending the money?

Writing A Novel

  • Do I have the creative talent to get published?
  • Could my time be spent better furthering my IT career?
  • How does one even get started?

Publishing A Blog

  • What am I supposed to write about?
  • Will anyone ever read what I’m writing?
  • Will people leave nasty comments if I get popular?
  • Everybody else is already publishing a blog, I’ll never be able to differentiate myself.

As I read through other blogs, I’ve found that a lot of people have encountered some type of terrible event or some other type of tragedy.  Naturally, they have reflected on that moment or moments and realized that fear was no longer a necessary feeling any longer.  Somewhere along the way, you will ultimately find that it was actually a decision.  They decided that nothing would stop them.  They could, would and will shamelessly (for a lack of a better word) write to make sure they are heard, because they have something worth hearing.  They know in their heart of hearts that they have a why.

I have a why, too, but it’s far more mundane.  I haven’t hit a wall, or experienced any form of tragedy.  But I do know what it’s like to feel completely and utterly lost.  It’s most certainly a First-World problem.  Others before me have explained it much better than I can, but the best way I can describe it is with one word:  Bittersweet.

Minus a few personal choices that some people would fail to understand (maybe one day I’ll have the heart to explain that), I’m living everything the good ol’ American Dream has to offer.  I have a nice car, a beautiful wife, a solid career, and a loving and caring family.  Please don’t get mad at me when I tell you that it’s not enough.  The opposite may, in fact, be true!  I’ve become complacent, too comfortable, and I don’t feel like I’m growing.  I go through the motions every day:  Drive to work, turn on my laptop, flip through emails, do a little work, surf the net, socialize a bit, turn off my computer, pack up and go home.

Nothing excites me.  I’m on edge all the time.  Only when I’m dreaming do I feel anything and what I feel is fear.  I fear that I may lose everything because I’m not engaged in what I have already.  I fear that I may lose everything if I do change.  I fear that I may lose everything if I do nothing.

Fear is a form of paralysis, and it’s built into every one of us.  But I don’t want to be afraid anymore.  I don’t want tragedy to be my catalyst.  I want to do things now, and feel pride when I end my day.  It’s not enough to be live vicariously, because dreaming doesn’t make dreams happen.

Take action against your fears, my friend.

Man.  Vicarious.

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