Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

This post is for all the people who are – like myself – just trying to get into a rhythm.  Perhaps you’re just starting a diet, a workout routine, starting out a blog, or trying to learn a new skill.  Maybe you’ve reached the end of the proverbial “road” and have to seek out a new adventure.  Maybe you are just out of ideas for the day, and you know you need to do something, but nothing really comes to mind.  Whatever it is, you’ve hit some type of dead-end, though you have some type of ultimate goal in mind.

My answer for this is simple:  Just do what you want to do.  Here me out, I’m not advocating procrastination, or simply giving up.  What I’m advocating is allowing yourself to continue your goal, allowing it to come from inside.  You don’t have to force it, and if you do, I think you’re wanting the wrong thing.  You see, today, I’m just exhausted.  I wanted to write something witty or inspiring.  I find myself lacking in structured though, but there’s something in there, I know it.

I really, quite honestly, learned a lot about myself this past week.  I found out that I have the strength to ask scary questions to people who have a direct impact in my life.  I also found out that when you ask those scary questions, they are often met with meaningful answers far less terrifying than you might have imagined.  I also found out that asking scary questions was one of the things I’ve been wanting to do all along.  Somewhere in there, I found out that doing what I want to do was not something that I craved.  It was something that I needed to do.

And that’s the conclusion I’ve come to:  Want is not a craving.  Want is not a lust.  Want is not vicarious, though it may start as such.  Want is not a simple desire.  Want is just as strong as need.

If you haven’t done so yet, I invite you to redefine that word for yourself.  If your goal is to eat less calories, then wanting that cookie is not appropriate.  If you want to be strong, wanting to skip that workout is not an option.  All of us who have hopes and dreams need to reflect on how we perceive that small little word.  Wanting should needing, and if wanting something does not fit your desired outcome… guess what?  You don’t want it.  You don’t need it.  And it shall be stricken from your desires.

Imagine vicariously, want something, need something, do something.

Stay vicarious, my friends.

I took a few months away from writing on this blog because I found myself essentially re-writing (regurgitating) a lot of the learned information I have come upon along my journey.  I fell off my workout regimen, I stopped focusing on what I thought was important, and I stopped taking myself seriously.  We experienced a death in the family, and an event I’m not yet ready to speak of publicly unfolded before me.

I had written before about how tragedy can be the catalyst for some in breaking through the barrier of fear, but that I didn’t want it be mine.  Well, as it turns out, death and tragedy can remind you of one’s mortality.  And that reminder can help you realize that fear is silly.  It’s silly because your life is precious, it’s sacred, and limited.  Life can be there, and then it can be gone.  Why don’t more of us spend it living the way we want to?

I contend that it is because we don’t take ourselves seriously.  All of us have instinctual responses to three main categories:

  1. Sustenance
  2. Sex
  3. Shelter

When we have these three things, sure, life can be considered pretty good.  But there is always that lingering feeling that something is missing.  It’s why so many people get into debt chasing those new wheels, that faster car, impressing the ladies, new suits and fashionable clothes.  Eventually, the plastic well of money runs dry, and the bills start coming due.  And we still feel like we have nothing to show for it.

I have to believe that passion can become an instinct, like an internal compass towards things you love.  Unlike instinct, it needs to be learned, but with enough fine tuning it should be possible.  Think of the many ways you find yourself wasting time.  For me, that’s Mahjong.  I can almost navigate to it without thinking, as it has become a muscle memory engraved into my body.  If I can do that, then certainly we can all make passion an instinct!

If you can take your passion seriously, something inside of you will begin to change.  You won’t scoff at your own dreams, you’ll start taking action, and you won’t be living vicariously through others anymore.  Like the Dos Equis dude, you’ll start living vicariously through yourself!  Here’s how I gauge it can be done:

1.  Write EVERYTHING you want to do down

The power of listing is quite potent; it’s a physical embodiment of your thoughts, a manifestation of the heart.  Lists can be broken down into steps, and steps establish actions.  Action leads to progress, and progress leads to success.  It is essential that you review your dream and passions daily, which will help you build an intentional day.  All you have is today, so make it yours.

I never got to writing in this blog until I wrote down what steps I needed to take to start it.  I stopped writing for a few months when I stopped listing it as something I needed to get done.

2.   Know when to laugh at yourself, and when to stop

I used to think that my dreams were silly, and would literally laugh out loud about the things that I wanted.  I kept thinking that it was selfish to want to change myself, that I was never good enough for what my dreams envisioned.  I thought it was silly that I might want to get six-pack abs, or do all the work on my car myself, or travel the world, or save up money to buy some land.

I thought it was silly when my wife and I decided to move in with my parents, and we laughed at the idea.  Why would we abandon our peaceful house to make what looked like on paper – and generally socially normative response – as a step backwards?  Given the chance, we would do it again.  Our hearts and hearth are so full of love now it’s ridiculous.

The reality is that this “step backwards” has allowed us so much leeway to pursue our true passions, of which a mountain of a mortgage was not.

Laugh at your dreams if you have to, but then move on and make it happen.

3.   Reflect on what you have accomplished 

Your accomplishments are not just some garbage to be thrown to the wayside.  Be proud of the steps you’ve taken to get where you are now – even if it’s you that’s on the wayside.  Life is about the experiences, and you can’t discount even one bit of it.  If you feel even the slightest bit that everything you have done up until now is worthless, I can say with full certainty that you are wrong.  I don’t care if you’re a drug-addict, homeless, or piled under a pile of debt.  One way or another you have something inside of you that drove you, and you need to reflect on that drive.

It may turn out that your greatest weaknesses may actually be your greatest strengths if you can change your perspective about them.

Don’t ever look at your life like a deconstruction.  Your life has come one day at a time and you built on that every step of the way.  You’re still here, you’ve done something right.

4.  Find a mentor, a hero, an icon

Take the time to figure out the people who have paved the way in your field(s) of interest.  Just that alone will provide legitimacy to your adventure.  If it’s someone you can interact with, all the better.  The stories of their lives will help you understand the challenges that you, too, may soon face.  Mentors can help you through challenges, heroes can inspire you through them, and icons let you know where you’ll stand once you succeed.  By taking them seriously, you’ll take yourself seriously.  Remember, they are flesh and blood, wear pants, and have 24 hours in a day – just like you.  They are special only because they kept at their dreams through persistence and determination, something of which we are all capable.

Destiny is fate, formed solely by your thoughts and actions.

5.  Take ever-increasingly, calculated risks

I’m not saying you need to take out a huge loan against your house and start a Peruvian flute band.  Maybe some people can create success that way (I still wish you the best if that’s the route you go), but that’s not how 99.999% of people got to the top.  Most people get to the top by slowly – and intentionally – expanding their comfort zones.  No band just starts out playing in front of thousands, they start out in garages and work their way up!

Being uncomfortable is where growth happens, and admittedly can lead to failure.  But failures are the paving stones to success. So long as you’re willing to uncomfortably keep laying the path, it will take you somewhere.  Figure out what it is you’d be happy doing, even if your uncomfortable, and take your time expanding.


My friends, know that it is possible to take your vicarious thoughts and dreams and make them real.

Seek out your intentions, write them down, grasp them and cherish them.  Take them seriously.

Man.  Vicarious.

Create to Survive

Posted: February 18, 2016 in Uncategorized

Maybe I’m a pessimist.  Maybe I’m a futurist.  I’m not likely a prophet, but what I do know is this:  There are technologies in motion that are seeking to make obsolete the jobs 0f tens of millions of people.  AI, or artificial intelligence, when paired with humanistic principals has the very real potential to displace many people in the workplace.  For example, why would you pay a teenager – a fleshy human body that can tire, complain, hurt itself at work, and is arguably fairly easy to distract – $10/hour when you can maintain a robot that is able to make suggestions, never tires, and is completely incapable of becoming distracted?  Unless you are catering to anti-AI crowd (which is almost certain to crop up eventually), the answer is you wouldn’t.

My point is this:  Unless you are doing something that requires CI – creative intelligence – you are not likely to be very employable in the coming future.  Everything physical that requires tight parameters can and will eventually be automated.  Think flipping burgers, think taking orders, think manufactured clothing and vehicles (already largely automated), think certain retail or service sales.  Think cloud services, the Internet of Things, Help Desk, think farming, think about Business Process Outsourcing.  All of them have a flag saying “Please automate me to increase shareholder profits!”

These are the reasons why we must create to survive.  More directly, you need to create original works of art.  That, or learn how to fix the things that enable automation – but I prefer the creation side of things.  This is because creative intelligence is an item that will not ever be taken from us.  It is our natural, latent ability to comprehend the absurd, the unique, the grotesque, the magical, the artistic things in life that lend us the wherewithal to stay past this curve of automation.

Begin creating today my friends.

Man. Vicarious.

 

 

When I should have been running towards the light.

Run towards the light.  It’s not death – it’s life.

Man. Vicarious.

Read The Manual (Edited)

Posted: December 1, 2015 in Uncategorized

Step 1) Read the manual.
Step 2) Throw manual away.
Step 3) Realize you actually need the manual.
Step 4) Go online and download manual.
Step 5) Still don’t use the manual.
Step 6) Get mad when things don’t work.

There are times in life where you can get so angry at yourself because you know in your heart of hearts exactly the course you should be following, but your ego stands in the way.  Like the analogy I describe above, despite knowing that there is a clear set of standards that are required before one embarks on a task, we all fail – at some point (or a lot of points) – to read our own hearts.

I first wrote this article with a bit of anger, and I think that it was against my previous style. It’s actually a bit truer to my own personality, but – comparing it to the rest of my messages – it was not true to this site. That’s the interesting thing about life: You can be true to yourself, even if it’s a slightly modified/filtered version. Sometimes the message needs to fill the void, rather than the entirety. It is rare that everything is missing from your life, but it can feel like you have nothing if you’re missing that one special thing.

Alas, the point of this article (and my steps above) is to know and understand that other people have been here before you, before us. They’ve walked this path from apprenticeship to journeyman to expert to master – and some have even become legendary. Some of them were kind enough to publish works on how they became who they were, and we can use their experiences as guidance. Certainly we can blaze our own paths, but sometimes it’s hard finding the starting line. The masters who documented their experience are allowing us to walk with them for the first few hundred miles.

Don’t throw all of this good knowledge away. Read about what you want to do, breath in the air of knowledge. Buy the books, do the work, walk the path. Live like you’re already the master, and you will naturally seek what the master does.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned before reaching the age of thirty, it is that professionals always use the right equipment/tools, they follow industry changes, and they constantly practice their work (even when they aren’t getting paid to do so). This is why you can’t start something new with the expectation of making money. If you love it enough that you can become adept, the money will naturally follow. Don’t do it for the money. Do it for what it does for your soul. Let the money be a bonus.

Live like the master. Become the master.

Man. Vicarious.

I’ve been giving this article a thought or two for some time and didn’t know exactly how I wanted to approach it.  The truth of the matter is simple:  I am so far from breaking through any type of fear barrier.  I know that it needs to be done.  I have a good idea of how it should be done.  I also have a huge list of why it should be done.  But I’ve really only stepped into the realm of thinking about how to break through.

It’s understandable to have fear as there are many ways to suffer when one begins to consider change.  Below you will find a few scenarios I consider when I think about the things I’m going to do.  As a bonus, you’ll get some insight into some of my future goals!

Rebuilding My Car

  • What if I’m biting off more than I can chew and I buy a whole bunch of stuff I’m unable to assemble correctly?
  • Isn’t there something more reasonable to put my money towards?
  • Buying a new car would have the built in reliability of a warranty, a few years of assurance I won’t have any drastic payments to make.
  • What if my wife resents me for spending the money?

Writing A Novel

  • Do I have the creative talent to get published?
  • Could my time be spent better furthering my IT career?
  • How does one even get started?

Publishing A Blog

  • What am I supposed to write about?
  • Will anyone ever read what I’m writing?
  • Will people leave nasty comments if I get popular?
  • Everybody else is already publishing a blog, I’ll never be able to differentiate myself.

As I read through other blogs, I’ve found that a lot of people have encountered some type of terrible event or some other type of tragedy.  Naturally, they have reflected on that moment or moments and realized that fear was no longer a necessary feeling any longer.  Somewhere along the way, you will ultimately find that it was actually a decision.  They decided that nothing would stop them.  They could, would and will shamelessly (for a lack of a better word) write to make sure they are heard, because they have something worth hearing.  They know in their heart of hearts that they have a why.

I have a why, too, but it’s far more mundane.  I haven’t hit a wall, or experienced any form of tragedy.  But I do know what it’s like to feel completely and utterly lost.  It’s most certainly a First-World problem.  Others before me have explained it much better than I can, but the best way I can describe it is with one word:  Bittersweet.

Minus a few personal choices that some people would fail to understand (maybe one day I’ll have the heart to explain that), I’m living everything the good ol’ American Dream has to offer.  I have a nice car, a beautiful wife, a solid career, and a loving and caring family.  Please don’t get mad at me when I tell you that it’s not enough.  The opposite may, in fact, be true!  I’ve become complacent, too comfortable, and I don’t feel like I’m growing.  I go through the motions every day:  Drive to work, turn on my laptop, flip through emails, do a little work, surf the net, socialize a bit, turn off my computer, pack up and go home.

Nothing excites me.  I’m on edge all the time.  Only when I’m dreaming do I feel anything and what I feel is fear.  I fear that I may lose everything because I’m not engaged in what I have already.  I fear that I may lose everything if I do change.  I fear that I may lose everything if I do nothing.

Fear is a form of paralysis, and it’s built into every one of us.  But I don’t want to be afraid anymore.  I don’t want tragedy to be my catalyst.  I want to do things now, and feel pride when I end my day.  It’s not enough to be live vicariously, because dreaming doesn’t make dreams happen.

Take action against your fears, my friend.

Man.  Vicarious.

One of the toughest barriers I’ve come upon in the most recent month of my life is keeping focus on what I’m working towards.  It’s so difficult to go into each day with a clear understanding of what you need to do if you don’t write things down.  Sure, I’d like to post a blog every other week (at the minimum, really) but when I don’t take the time to actually brainstorm ideas physically – on a piece of paper – then I don’t really have anything holding me accountable.  This leads me to surf the net, read manga, watch movies, or otherwise lead an unfocused day or evening.

Alexander Heyne, from Milk The Pigeon, explains that there are four steps to a structured morning routine (besides shower, shit and shave):

  1. Know what you want
  2. Know why you want it
  3. Visualize what you want
  4. Affirm what you want

Since I don’t intend to plagiarize him much further, I have my own explanation of why his mindset works:  Momentum, Inertia and Focus.  Since I like to actually define keywords, instead of leaving them up for the reader to decide, here’s their definitions below:

Momentum

force or speed of movement; impetus, as of a physical object or course of events:

Inertia

the property of matter by which it retains its state of rest or its velocity along a straight line so long as it is not acted upon by an external force.

Focus

to direct one’s attention or efforts

The problem with us humans is that we don’t live life in a vacuum.  There are constant forces acted upon us every frickin’ day.  Our bosses want us to accomplish several tasks, we get hungry and thirsty, we have very real biological needs, the daily allure of the internet trash sites, and the almighty “Honey Do” list.

Imagine that your life is a blank to-do list as you go into your day.  There are some obvious things you’re going to need to do that don’t get filled in like showering, driving to work, opening up your laptop and then flipping open email.  But what next?  You have nothing planned, so you are going to follow the path of least resistance.  Guess what that path is going to be?  Doing what other people ask you to do.  Sure, it’s work so there’s going to be a modicum of doing what people ask of you.  But because you set no goals – or had any idea of something you would like to accomplish – your day is going to feel empty.  Feeling empty every day is not fun.

I have good news, though.  You can quickly rebound from your days of feeling empty and without gratitude.  You can find that inner compass and follow it this time.  You’ll be excited about the days you’re living because you have chosen the path!  But first you have to start somewhere.

Something strange happens when you start thinking about changing your life everyday.  For me it started off as melancholy, a slow passing of the days while yearning for the horizon.  There was a lot of doubt, there were some tears, a lot of failing to launch.  There were days I asked myself “How did I get here?”  There was even a period that I would very much attribute as depression.  I wish I could tell you that this period was unnecessary, but I would be lying.

During this time I was soul searching, playing out scenarios in my head and in my heart.  I repeatedly contemplated the things I love and wrote them down on paper.  They never changed, but I didn’t take action!  It was then I realized that I had to strip off my fears, one by one, by actually tackling the demons that haunt me.  It’s the slow, small actions that count, and eventually build up your speed.

I’m not going to get technical about what to do, I’m not the expert on goal-setting.  BUT I will tell you this:  One thing will lead to another.  Start off with your basics and work your way up – hell, I’m sure even the pyramids started off with some dude making a sketch of what he wanted it to look like.  What I’m saying is start off with your vision, feel it, live it.  Then take the first step, then the next one.  You will be running with it once you get going!  That’s the power of momentum.

By constantly reflecting on your actions, and maintaining focus, you will find that your inner compass can guide you forward.  There’s a reason why we can’t predict the future:  We haven’t created it yet.  Quite honestly, it’s up to you, unless you leave it to someone else.  So again, reflect on what you’ve done, and focus on what you can do next.  If your goal is rebuild your car, you have to come up with an inventory of what needs replaced or upgraded.  Once you have your inventory, you must logically define what makes sense to replace next.  It’s not ideal to buy new tires first if you’re going to get new rims eventually – you’ll have to pay someone to take the new tires off of the old rims when you could have gotten the rims and tires as a package!

Once you start on your path of action and reflection, you will find yourself in a state of inertia.  It will be difficult to dissuade you from veering off path, because every day you have started by affirming the actions of the day, or week, or year.  The items on your list will feel important, and empowering, motivating you to complete them.  The experience learned from the small steps you have taken will enable you to complete the more difficult tasks.  Repeating small steps will take less time, and that’s exactly what building momentum does for you – it makes you hard to stop!

Live vicariously my friends, but remember to take action as well.

Man. Vicarious.

For a lot of us folk out there in the world, having complete and utter freedom of your life choices is the ultimate goal.  I, myself, can oftentimes feel stranded in the (be)wilderness of modern society.  We carry our phones like a prisoner might drag their ball and chain.  We check email at odd times of the night so we don’t get blindsided the next day.  We fret about what the coming day might hold.  Instead of a burning energy to wake up and tackle the day, we encounter turmoil over the thoughts of rush-hour and hours of meetings.

Because of this, I started giving some thought of how the perfect day might actually feel.

Everyday would have a little bit of excitement, a tinge of fear, an acceptable amount of self-study, and a generous serving of creativity.  But how can I direct energy to become the most industrious version of myself?  I think the most important aspect I’ve found so far is to limit the amount of items that currently divert my energy.  Here’s just a few examples:

  1. Rush-Hour
  2. Too much caffeine
  3. Negative news-feeds
  4. Facebook

But then comes the big question:  How can I get the most out of my day?

Let’s super-size that…:  How can I get the most out of my life?

The answer, to me, has to be a little bit of fun:  Become a Creative Director.  The great thing is the definition is whatever you want it to be!  If the thought of this is exasperating, you simply have not taken enough time to figure out what you want out of your existence.  Let’s tackle the exasperation with a more direct definition then:

A creative director is a vital role in all of the arts and entertainment industries. In another sense, they can be seen as another element in any product development process. The creative director may also assume the roles of an art director, copywriter, or lead designer.

But in my terms, a self-directing Creative Director must take responsibility for producing one’s own path in development.  Sure, mentors can help guide you.  Self-help books can assist you in gaining insight on cognitive behaviors that can induce flow, or break habits that reduce your mental energy.  Blogs can provide frameworks or processes that will help you get from A to Z, but it is only the self that can decide everything in between.

For me, right now, ManVicarious is an experiment.  My point A is the disappointment I’ve felt in NOT directing my life.  Point Z is the slow process of moving the experiment (sure to be filled with untold – and some explained – trial and error) towards a more conclusive set of parameters that fill my life with passion.  In one of my first blogs, Leveraging Discipline to Create Change, I spoke more truth than I originally believed.

The truth, as it turns out, is that tying in the things that decrease stress can also induce flow.  I had a grasp on what I was writing beforehand, so it wasn’t complete bullshit, but I started noticing that when I have that great morning routine, and when I do exercise, I find that I still have the mental capacity to write in my blog!  Hell, just with those two items alone I don’t have the need to meditate on those days.  I don’t have to set goals, because I’m actually mentally fit to execute goals on days like that!

The point is this:   You need a direction, a mental compass if you will, and motivation to get there.  This can only occur if the direction is towards happiness, or contentment, or zen, or whatever it is you seek.  You need to creatively gather yourself, and imprint the patterns of your soul on your one and only life.  There is no road-map to success because the meaning is different for everyone!

Please, start dreaming of what it is you want.  Make a plan of action, no matter how silly it looks on paper.  Break it down into smaller steps.  Break it down a little bit further if you can.  There are frameworks out there that can help, but writing things down comes first.  Second, make sure the majority of it sounds fun.  If it doesn’t, put it in a discard folder, but DON’T throw it away.  Sometimes knowing what you want is knowing what you don’t want.  If you’re giddy about what the paper holds, keep it, and start taking action.

Being a Creative Director for your own life will empower your thoughts and feelings.  You can take responsibility for what you do with your life, and it won’t have to be controlled by others any longer.  Dream it, bathe in it, be it.  Be yourself.

Man.  Vicarious.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Albert Einstein

This one is a conundrum.  At a high-level point of view it’s so simple to see.  On the other hand, it’s so difficult to understand and – even further – even more difficult to take action upon.  Why does it feel like I can’t change?  To put it succinctly, it’s because I haven’t changed anything.

I reviewed a small log of journals I’ve written dating back to August of 2009. Two-thousand and mother-fucking Nine.  I’ll let that soak in for a second.  Sigh.  What I’ve found in my review is that I’ve said the same thing, only different ways:

“I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“I don’t know where my life is going.”

“I should do X, Y, Z…”

“Maybe I’ll do this and that will lead to this…”

“I’m upset because I’m not doing anything.”

“I need to start working out more.  I’m not in the shape I want to be in.”

These are just a few items that have come up in my journal over five years.  It’s kind of interesting when I really think about it though.  Because there are some changes I have made – but they have been cyclical and eventually whittled away to where I’m at again now:  Back at square one.  But what is square one?  Square one is when I’m starting to feel a bit desperate again.  I feel like I’m not in control anymore, I’m not leading my life, but only following a path that is laid before me – not one I have laid myself.

I feel like I haven’t changed because my disposition in life is the same on the inside.  Oh, there are some accomplishments along the way and they should be counted!

  1. Traveled to India for work and had a blast
  2. Bought and sold a house
  3. Finished a year-long work project
  4. Started working on my car
  5. Built an awesome budget that my wife and I stick to
  6. Moved in with my parents to help out my sister, her kids, and my parents (long story)

It’s not like things are hopeless, they just feel… a little out of the spectrum of my true wishes.  Things that I’ve clamored for in my journal have not come to fruition.  I’m still the same shape as when I first started.  I’ve not really started any blogging.  I haven’t dedicated the desired amount of time, effort, and money towards my car.  I’ve not followed a daily routine that I’ve set.  I’ve not gotten that promotion at work.  I’m not learning the things I want to learn.  I’m not studying any martial art.

So why does it feel like I can’t change?  It’s because I haven’t changed!  I haven’t put the effort into strength training or watching my calories.  I haven’t written consistently in my blog, or worked at owning my own business.  I really haven’t followed that daily routine I set.  I don’t work hard enough at work to deserve a promotion.  I haven’t studied the things I want to learn.

Maybe just writing this will allow me to reflect.  Maybe writing this blog means I’m doing something about the previous inability to change.  Maybe I’m doing something about it right now.  Maybe, just maybe, this is a beginning.

It feels good.

Man.  Vicarious.

If Your Day Goes To Shit

Posted: September 2, 2015 in Uncategorized

You woke up late.  Traffic was a fucking mess.  You’re late to the first of many meetings for the day.  You don’t have time for breakfast.  You think you can fill that food-void with excessive cups of coffee, even though that shit gives you heart palpitations like mad.  You get heart palpitations, curse yourself for drinking that third cup of coffee.  The caffeine doesn’t help you focus, it only makes you even more distracted.  A small voice in your head tells you to be concerned about the increased chance of stroke…

You settle into a darker corner of the building, hoping for some reprieve and clarity.  You don’t get it.  You’re not getting anything done, and you realize you don’t care.  This brings on greater anxiety –>  Will someone find out you really don’t give a shit?  Meh, better search the interwebs to find a way to pass the time while working on some menial and meaningless junk just to feed your conscious mind.

Finally, the clock strikes its final minute of your workday.  Relieved, you stroll out, lumbering towards your car.  It’s fucking hot out, and swamp ass is inevitable on the walk to your car.  Gross.  Drive home, that lump in your throat reminding you anxiety was choking you all day.  Shit, at least the traffic isn’t so bad now.

Get home, try to take a nap because you just want your mind to stop screaming at you.  Stop right here.


If your day went to, is, will be, or was shit you need to stop right now.  Go. Fucking. Exercise.  I don’t need to tell you the benefits, you’ll find those out for yourself.  You’re welcome.

Man. Vicarious.